We all experience stress in our lives. Jobs, home and family responsibilities, recreation, and hobbies vie for our time and attention. We settle into a routine of stress that keeps us going through our days. In the past six months, from the events in the world, to our country, to our communities, and to our personal lives, comfort zones have been challenged to maximum levels. We may ask, “How did we get here?” “What can we do?” “Where can we find solace? Our senses and sensibilities may be overwhelmed to the point of emotional shutdown.
For many years, I experienced myriad serious stressors—my family, school relationships, and expectations to excel, all of which contributed to self-doubt and a skewed sense of self. I have been in and out of therapy since my mid-twenties and, most recently, the past seven years. Twelve-Step groups and support groups helped along the way. The most powerful practice in my life has been, and is, journaling. I maintain a daily journaling practice and share my writing with my therapist. The two produce a synergy that enhances both. I have learned many ways to reduce my anxiety from stress. However, that does not mean my life is easy. I must revisit what works for me daily, sometimes several times a day. Despite my ability to de-escalate, calm, or self-advocate, I am vulnerable to the mental stress of feeling stunned, outraged, anxious, fearful, and frustrated. Experiences pile on top of an already enormous stack or my world falls apart one domino at a time. Either way, I am not in a peaceful personal place. I am then prone to slip into the groove of despair. My mind plays an endless loop of “Why…?” questions that lead nowhere. When I use de-stressing techniques, I feel more clear-headed and more able to make sound decisions.
Stress is a catch-all term for a continuum of mental interpretation of a situation. It is a natural part of our human experience. Stress is varying degrees of response to situations or events that are contrary to your values, capabilities, or sensibilities. It may be what is called acute, episodic acute, or chronic. Acute stress lasts only a short time, such as when we back out of our driveway and see a child riding a bicycle on the sidewalk. However, we may replay the incident in our minds for a long time as we recall how we responded and how close we came to tragedy. Episodic acute stress comes about when worrying about the future or trying to juggle several projects. The stress reduces when we are done. We then move on to the next set of tasks or activities. Traumatic stress happens when we experience or witness a distressing event. This type of stress can lead to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and may require the help of a mental health professional. Chronic stress can become background “noise” in our life and last a lifetime. This type of stress can result from recurrent uncontrollable events and situations. We may be unaware of this type of stress as it becomes a part of our overall life experience and bubbles under the surface of everything else in our life until a major event sets it off.
Stress can lead to feelings of helplessness. Prolonged, recurrent, or chronic stress can erode your mental and physical health and lead to self-destructive behaviors. You may experience confusion, self-doubt, fear, frustration, drinking, smoking, use of illicit drugs or prescriptions, ignoring or abandoning daily needs of self-care, extensive time on social media, or firing off inappropriate emails, texts, or phone calls. Stress can also be a good thing, helping you navigate heavy traffic on an interstate highway or learn a new skill. It can motivate you to find employment, finish writing your book, or send that email you have procrastinated for three weeks. And, yes, even extreme situations of joy—winning the lottery, a new baby, accepting a plum job—can cause stress.
The effects of COVID-19 have taken a huge toll on people worldwide. The disease seemed to emerge from nowhere, and then spread at a dizzying speed with no pattern. Like other natural disasters, we had little time to prepare for a global emergency. Many of us, for the first time in our lives, face a paralyzing reality that uncertainty will become the norm. Stunned, we had to reassure our children or aging parents that they were safe even as we felt unsafe, uncertain, and terrified. As the pandemic continues, we experience mental and physical fatigue. Other life stressors have either intensified or compounded. We have had to deal with an inordinate amount of grief in every area of our lifestyles—deaths of friends, family and the sheer number of people taken by the disease; loss of income; loss of daily routine; loss of separating work from home; loss of dining out and recreational activities; loss of gathering with friends, loss of stability, loss of sense of wellbeing as we wonder if the disease will find us, and much more.
The first step in relieving stress is to recognize you need help, either from deep within yourself or from someone else. There are ways to de-escalate so you can bring yourself to a place of peace. De-escalating stress is a conscious decision.
Stress comes to us in many forms and we juggle several stressors simultaneously. If we are already stretched thin, a new or major stressor can flatten us. Most people can benefit from de-stressing activities. Stress de-escalation helps us relax and slows and resets physical responses. It protects us and other people from the aftermath of outbursts.
You can de-escalate. You can reset. You can recharge. It takes practice and patience. It can be done.
Billie Wade, a lifelong journaler, believes people are precious, sacred, resilient, and stronger than they know. She created Journaling to Heal, LLC which helps people discover the power of writing in their process of recovery from emotional stress and trauma. Visit her at www.billiewade.com and find more of her writing on www.dmpcc.org/billie where she writes a monthly newsletter column for Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center.