This is the first monthly Money Talk column by Michelle Cornish that will help you heal your personal financial issues in your tissues.
Amidst the COVID-19 pandemic there is much uncertainty about the economic future. People are being forced to stay home to stay safe and they are suffering financially. The good news is, we are all in the same situation, and we will all get through it together.
At first, I thought it would be appropriate for the first Money Matters post to start at the beginning. I’d planned to write about discovering your money story. But as I wrote the draft of that article, I realized starting at the beginning isn’t always what’s needed. Sometimes we need to triage and work on the most urgent issue.
There’s plenty of time to discover your money story, and I’ll write about that eventually, but what’s needed right now amidst this global pandemic is a conversation about financial fears. They’re completely normal, especially in times like this where people are being forced to stay home and potentially can’t work.
Before I dig into some of the financial fears coming up for me right now, I want to share a bit about myself. I’m not a therapist or a doctor. I’m not even a financial planner. I’m someone that’s struggled with money and still struggles today. I’ve learned a lot on my own financial journey and I hope by sharing what I know, you might avoid some of the mistakes I’ve made.
Before I started writing, I was a CPA, and because of that I often tell myself, “I should have known better.” I’ll talk about “shoulds” in a future Money Matters post as well. By sharing my experiences through Money Matters, I hope you’ll see you're not alone and you can recover from whatever financial struggles you may be experiencing.
Many people are struggling right now. Remember, you are not alone. The whole world is going through this together.
Businesses and organizations across the globe are doing what they can to help. Governments and banks are offering financial support such as delaying payment deadlines or allowing payment skipping. If you can’t meet your financial obligations this month, reach out to your creditors. There’s a good chance they’ve put COVID-19 support measures in place to help.
If you’re reading this post, you likely already know that keeping your fears to yourself can cause issues in your tissues. Acknowledging your fears will help you feel better. If you’re not comfortable sharing your fears in a conversation then write them in your journal.
Getting those fears out through your journal will help ensure you don’t end up sick from keeping them to yourself. Journaling about your fears will help you feel better. It’s okay to feel scared about your finances right now. These are unprecedented times.
Here are some of the financial fears I’ve been writing about:
While this post focuses on financial fears, you’re bound to feel a lot of other emotions too. I’ve felt a lot of guilt about everything that’s been going on. I mostly work from home and the part-time job I had outside the home was ending anyway. My work situation and potentially my income situation isn’t much different than it was before the pandemic, and I feel guilty about that.
As a result of being forced to stay home, I have more time to work on the projects I never seem to get to. I get to read, write, and draw all day. It’s like a dream come true for me! And I feel guilty about that too.
Whatever you are feeling right now, financial or not, accept that. It’s okay to feel how you feel. You might be uncertain about the future or confused about the present. Whatever you are feeling, you’re certainly not the only one feeling that. Remember, the whole world is affected by this right now. We’re in this together!
I worked with a counsellor many years ago who used The Work by Byron Katie. It’s a multi-step process to get at the heart of what you’re feeling and turn it around. I highly recommend Byron Katie’s book Loving What Is if you are interested in learning the full process. There’s even a chapter on doing The Work on work and money.
As the title of the book suggests it's about helping you love where you’re at regardless of what that looks like. The key step in The Work for me was always when my counsellor asked me, “Is it true?” It seemed like no matter what my fear or belief was, in order for me to answer that it was 100% true, I’d have to know the future or someone else’s belief, two things I couldn’t possibly know with 100% certainty. This meant my faulty beliefs were always untrue.
Let’s try this on one of my fears from above—I won’t be able to pay my bills.
When I ask myself, “Is this true that I won’t be able to pay my bills?” My answer is, “No.” Why not?
Here are all the reasons I can think of that the fear “I won’t be able to pay my bills” isn’t true.
All these statements are proof that, in fact, I will be able to pay my bills during this difficult time. Let’s try this again with the next fear: I’ll have to pay for everything with credit cards because it isn’t safe to exchange cash right now. Is this true?
For me, this fear is 100% true, so this time I’m going to answer, “yes.” Here’s the interesting thing about Byron Katie’s The Work. When you answer yes, you get to move on. A yes answer means it’s not really a fear. There’s a lot more to it than this, and if you’re interested, definitely read Loving What Is.
Let’s take a look at how my statement about paying with credit cards instead of cash isn’t a fear. For me, right now, it feels safer to use credit cards because I don’t risk passing germs to someone by giving them my cash. I can just tap the point of sale machine and go.
Okay, so what’s the big deal if I use credit cards during this time instead of cash? I worry that I won’t be able to pay the credit card bills. Aha! This brings me back to my first fear (not being able to pay my bills) which I already addressed. I can further address this fear by keeping careful tabs on all my credit card purchases and making sure I have the money in my bank account to pay the bill when it comes.
Affirmations are a great way to turn your fears around. An affirmation is a statement you can repeat to yourself throughout the day to help you focus on the positive. I like to take my fears and turn them into affirmations. Here are my fears from above turned into affirmations. Remember my fear of using credit cards instead of cash wasn’t really a fear, so I haven’t included that one.
Any time you feel a financial fear coming up, think about how you can turn it around and make it into something positive.
It may seem counterintuitive to calm your financial fears by listing as many as you can think of. Trust the process. When you are finished, you’ll feel better having those fears in your journal instead of floating around in your head.
The first prompt is to list all the financial fears you have. Keep writing until you can’t think of any more. If there are other emotions you’re feeling right now, get those out too. The more you can write about all the things in your head, the better you will feel. Remember, you don’t have to share this with anyone.
Once you’ve written about all your financial fears and anything else you’re feeling right now that you want to include, I want you to go through each point and ask yourself if it’s true.
For all the points you identified as being true for you, turn them into a positive affirmation. Make sure you use your affirmations every day, especially if you start feeling overwhelmed.
I invite you to revisit these journal prompts any time you feel your financial fears sneaking up on you. Our fears change over time and it’s good to make journaling a regular habit for this reason.
Be gentle on yourself during this stressful time. It may not feel like it right now, but this is only temporary. Journal about your financial fears every day if you need to. Things will get better. Stay safe. Stay healthy.
Author bio: Michelle Cornish is the author of Prosperity Planner: Manage Your Personal Finances and Get Out of Debt, an undated planner where she shares more about her personal financial journey and her TREE Method for keeping her personal finances in check.