By Susan G. Weidener
In 2010 I published my memoir, Again in a Heartbeat, a memoir of love, loss and dating again. A former journalist who had reported other people’s stories for a living, I was revealing the most intimate details of my life. Going public with my memoir felt like diving naked off a cliff.
Not only had I written about my husband’s seven-year battle with colorectal cancer, but my anger at him for getting sick and my desperate desire to quickly move on after his death and find another man. After my memoir came out, reaction was mixed between those praising me for honesty and candor and others looking askance and asking, “Why would you publish something so personal? I could never do anything like that.”
I often answered then – and it is still true - that I wrote the story because I believed it might help others going through the same or similar situation. I believed in my story. I had claimed and honored my voice, my story, my unique way of telling it.
How do we find our voices as writers?
- Write honestly and from the heart.
- Believe in your story.
- Don’t copy another writer’s style because you think it is “better” than yours.
- Write with confidence and conviction.
- Remember the reader. Honor the trust they bestow on you when they pick up your book. They are expecting to read a story transcending the “fishbowl of one life” . . . offer a universal message so they learn more about themselves and their lives.
As we often note in the Women’s Writing Circle, “We are bearing witness to our journey.” Yet, as women, we are regularly “silenced” by society. A pattern emerges. A woman silences herself because she knows there is reprisal when she speaks plainly and openly. Then comes the shaming message: It is self-centered to talk about your pain, anger, grief. Others have it worse so how dare you complain?
In both the Circle and my writing workshops, I hear time and again the fear of being perceived as “disloyal” or “betraying family.” This is the greatest obstacle to many a potentially fine memoir being published. Others will say they have moved “beyond that” and honor the authenticity of their “voice” as a writer.
Baby Boomers - my generation - are often accused of being the most self-centered and narcissistic of generations. Yet a certain logic resided in our mantra, “let it all hang out.” Letting it all hang out was a way to escape our self-imposed prisons and embrace change. So it is for the writer. . Our story is important. We have the right to tell our story however we want.
About A Portrait of Love and Honor:
Newly-divorced and on her own, 40-something Ava Stuart forges a new life. One day, at a signing in the local library for her novel, a tall, dark-haired man walks in and stands in the back of the room. Jay Scioli is a wanderer – a man who has said good-bye to innocence, the U. S. Army, and corporate America. His outlook on life having changed, his health shattered by illness, he writes a memoir. In his isolation, he searches for an editor to help him pick up the loose ends. Time may be running out. He is drawn to the striking and successful Ava. Facing one setback after another, their love embraces friendship, crisis, dignity, disillusionment. Their love story reflects a reason for living in the face of life’s unexpected events.
Based on a true story, A Portrait of Love and Honor takes the reader from the halls of the United States Military Academy at West Point during the Vietnam War to a moving love story between two people destined to meet. You can purchase it here on Amazon!
About the Author:
Susan G. Weidener is a former journalist with The Philadelphia Inquirer. She has interviewed a host of interesting people from all walks of life, including Guy Lombardo, Bob Hope, Leonard Nimoy, Rubin “Hurricane” Carter and Mary Pipher. She left journalism in 2007 and after attending a women’s writing retreat, wrote and published her memoir, Again in a Heartbeat, a memoir of love, loss and dating again, about being widowed at a young age. Two years later, she wrote and published its sequel, Morning at Wellington Square, a woman’s search for passion and renewal in middle age. Her novel, A Portrait of Love and Honor, completes the trilogy, inspired by and dedicated to her late husband, John M. Cavalieri, on whose memoir the novel is based. Susan earned a BA in Literature from American University and a master’s in education from the University of Pennsylvania. An editor, writing coach and teacher of writing workshops, she founded the Women’s Writing Circle, a support and critique group for writers in suburban Philadelphia. She lives in Chester Springs, PA. Her website is: www.susanweidener.com.
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