Thinking of self-care brings to mind the fable of Simon the Squirrel. Simon had a fierce pride that prevented him from asking for help from other animals in the forest.
One fall day, as the other squirrels began gathering nuts and seeds for the winter months, Simon set out alone to find the biggest nut in the forest. After struggling to find his treasure, a wise old owl notices Simon's frustration and suggests he ask for help from the other squirrels. Simon stubbornly refused. Finally, desperate and afraid, Simon found his friends and, with all the strength he could muster, asked for help. His friends welcomed him back without hesitation, offering him food and warmth. When spring rolled around, Simon had learned a valuable lesson: pride makes you strong, but even the mightiest among us sometimes need a helping hand.
The story is an excellent reminder for us higher-level functioning humans who refuse to ask for help. We fall into five categories: prideful overachievers, perfectionists or control freaks, caregivers, "Super Moms," and the poor.
Prideful overachievers refuse help because they have a strong sense of self-reliance and see asking for help as a sign of weakness. They tackle challenges on their own in order to be recognized and maintain their autonomy.
Perfectionists often don't trust others, fearing that asking for help may compromise their integrity or the quality of their work. They also worry that seeking assistance will reveal their flaws and lead to judgment, so they choose to work alone.
Most caregivers are women who grew up in households where they're expected to take care of family members. They often feel overwhelmed balancing the needs of aging children and parents, and are reluctant to seek help for fear of burdening others or taking up their time and resources.
"Super Moms" juggle various roles like breadwinners, career women, homemakers, and caregivers. They prioritize their family's needs while unintentionally neglecting their own health. They wear their "Super Mom" capes with pride and fear vulnerability. The last thing they want is to admit that they don’t have all the answers or solutions, so they refuse to ask for help.
The poor struggle to meet basic needs such as food, shelter, and medical care, yet they are the least likely to take advantage of available resources. Many fear being judged by others. Past negative experiences when they may have asked for help and been dismissed or let down may keep some from reaching out. Others have had their trust broken, making it hard to open up and seek assistance.
Simon was smart by taking the owl's sage advice, which kept him from starving or freezing to death. It's a pity that we humans can't do the same thing.
Even though we fall into different categories, the result is the same: refusing to ask for help compromises our health. Skipping meals, bingeing on processed foods, losing sleep, and ignoring your body's basic needs can lead to high blood pressure, weakened or overactive immune systems, digestive problems, insomnia, depression, and anxiety, and lead to chronic medical conditions, disability, and premature death.
People who are grateful for their health and well-being know it makes more sense to just do as Simon did, swallow their pride and ask for help.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Myrtle Russell is here to help with her "Unwrapping the Gifts of Gratitude Journaling” Workshop or one-on-one coaching. Contact her at smallchange@myrtlerussell.com. Catch up on her Self-care blogs at www.myrtlerussell.com/blog.
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