Oh, those Sunday nights and the dread of a new work week. I couldn’t wait to say, “Bring it on Sunday; I’m retired!” No more Sunday night blues; I am free to shout every day is Saturday! So, how did I fail such an easy test? How did my dream of retirement and freedom morph into what felt like a failed Retirement?
My husband and I are parents of three adults. Our eldest daughter, Jessica (age 42), has a rare chromosome deletion. Caring for Jessica and her siblings was a full-time, whirlwind, and loving profession. Jessica needed total assistance with all daily life skills, and finding skilled help was necessary if I pursued a career outside the home. This challenge significantly influenced my career decisions and the path to my retirement.
Before Retirement
I completed my Master’s in Exceptional education and searched for a flexible job that would allow me to combine my mom’s expertise with my special education skills. Afternoon respite care became available for our daughter Jess – So I jumped into the work world, knowing Jess was safe.
By luck, a position as a parent educator fell into my lap, and I discovered that I had a passion for working with families. After my boss retired, I stepped into the director role of the Western New York Early Childhood Direction Center. We provided support and information to families of children birth to five with disabilities, working closely with professionals across six counties.
I loved my job and working with young families. Imagine the joy of having a new baby and the following learning curve. Now, imagine your newborn has a disability. My role was to guide families to find their path and encourage them that, despite the challenges, it would be OK. I could say this with conviction because I lived it—I walked in their shoes, caring for Jessica.
A Change
But then everything changed. My husband and I found out that we were going to be grandparents. I was going to be a Nana. And I knew that my heart lay with my grandchildren- to lend my hand in raising the next generation. And I was also hitting that, ahem, retirement age. So, I did it! I retired-ISH
After Retirement
My retirement gift from our kids was old-school writing tools: a dictionary, thesaurus, pen, and paper. “Write your book,” they said. My mom had encouraged me for twenty years to write a book. I loved to write, but writing an entire book felt like work. It was worse—it felt like going back to college! Didn’t I just retire?
The stories about raising Jessica, our first child, were always with me. I had a burning desire to share our story but needed more time to do it properly. Was this the right time for my new career?
Failed Retirement
Work mode kicked in almost immediately. Each morning after retirement, my alarm went off at 6 AM. Yes, that early! My new mantra was “Time to Brew the Coffee and Write.”
I started a blog because I was told you can’t just write a book; you need a platform to let people know who you are. My website was built by me (I bragged to my millennium children – I can do this!). I also took classes, joined writing groups, and journaled daily.
Four years later, my book, “Raising Jess: A Story of Hope,” was complete, and I started working on promotion. Promoting the book takes way more work than writing it—who knew getting your name out there would be more complicated than authoring the book? Approximately one million books are published yearly. Wish I had known that before writing, it wouldn’t have been such a surprise.
The best part of my formal retirement IS spending quality time with our grandchildren, children, and their families. Jessica and I share hugs, laughs, and a book! No longer bound by a formal work schedule, I could fully immerse myself in the joy of being with the next generation.
Success
My four-year-old granddaughter recently asked her mom if it was Tuesday because that’s her favorite day. She said, “I love Tuesdays because Nana picks me up (from preschool).” It’s also my favorite day!
The joy of my grandchildren screaming, “Nana is here,” is the best post-retirement reward. It’s these unexpected moments that make retirement truly fulfilling.
And then, there’s the feeling of usefulness. I published ‘Raising Jess: A Story of Hope,‘ which won three awards. I had always imagined retirement as a time to do nothing, and that’s where I was mistaken. Retirement is an opportunity to do what inspires you and share it with the people you love. I wasn’t retiring from life, just from my day job.
I guess I passed the test!
SIDE BAR
Are you ready to retire? Here is my failed retirement advice. It’s important to retire to something you love to do. Find something that sparks your interest. Is there something you always wanted to do but didn’t have time? Do it now! See my two-minute PBS Video on Retirement.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Vickie Rubin, M.S Ed. is a three-time award-winning author of the inspiring memoir Raising Jess: A Story of Hope. The memoir encompasses overcoming marriage struggles, having more children, and the sibling experience. Vickie's debut memoir won the 2022 Readers' Favorite Gold Medal Award for Non-Fiction and was a Finalist in the Best Book Award and Books Excellence Award for inspirational memoir.
She is an experienced public speaker and passionate advocate for families of children with disabilities. Vickie's essays are published in Newsweek and featured in the Buffalo News and guest blogs worldwide. She is a frequent Podcast guest sharing information about raising a child with a disability, inspiring hope, family dynamics, education, and advocacy. Her blog, Vickie's Views, gives a heartwarming and humorous view of everyday life, including raising a child with a disability, observing daily life, family, marriage, and RV travel.
Before writing her book, Vickie was the director of the Early Childhood Direction Center (ECDC) for Oishei Children’s Hospital, Kaleida Health, a New York State Education Department grant-funded program. Vickie and her husband Mitch celebrated their 44rd wedding anniversary in 2023. They have three children, three grandchildren, and two very active dogs.
You can follow the author at:
Website: https://vickierubin.com/
Vickie’s Views: https://vickierubin.com/blog/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RaisingJessStory/
Instagram: @vickierubin.author
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vickie-rubin-aa1a09177/
Twitter/X: @vickierubin
Book Summary
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Raising Jess: A Story of Hope is the powerful story of one family’s survival when faced with adversity. Written with compassion, honesty, and humor, it tells of a family changed forever by the birth of a child with a rare chromosome deletion and their courageous decision to choose hope. Facing the challenges of caring for her daughter, marriage struggles, and the question of having more children, Vickie Rubin gives a glimpse in the world of her family and transformation while raising Jess. This beautiful, gripping memoir will delight and leave you wanting more.
Publisher: Page Publishing
Print length: 250 pages
Purchase a copy of Raising Jess on
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Jess-Story-Vickie-Rubin/dp/166246052X
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/raising-jess-vickie-rubin/1139804006?ean=9781662407413%20
Bookshop: https://bookshop.org/p/books/raising-jess-a-story-of-hope-vickie-rubin/17276491?ean=9781662407413
You can also add this to your GoodReads reading list
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58577631-raising-jess