A friend told me she felt some guilt over the not-so-great economy and the sharply divided society we’re handing down as boomers to our children. It’s not hard to see her viewpoint. Whether just nostalgically or not, in America people my age remember a kinder, gentler world, where opportunity was far easier to come by.
We won’t go into the arguments about how this came to be, but let’s consider how to get a calm grip on our own personal reality, both past and present.
I’d guess just about everyone feels some regret in their older years. Few can say they are happy with all their decisions. At this point, though, we need to reconcile past and present, so we can move into the future with less fear.
I read a poem recently, by Jennifer Welwood, about getting older. She says, “Everything that can be lost, will be lost.” And then a few lines later, “The true human adult gives everything for what cannot be lost.”
It struck me that those two quotes sum up our current condition as baby boomers. This is what we know; and this is what we must do.
Let’s spend a week on it.
Wednesday – Loss
You’ve probably had moments when you felt loss acutely. If it’s the loss of something loved, the pain can be unbearable. Write the word, loss, at the top of a fresh page in your journal and then free write for five or ten minutes. Circle three words or phrases from your writing that stand out.
Journal around those three words: how do they relate, how do they contrast, how can you use them to describe in one sentence your experience of loss?
Thursday – Guilt
We joke about deeply embedded guilt from various religious teachings or judgmental elders, but it’s no joke to feel the regret boomers are uneasily sensing as we survey the world we’re handing to our progeny. How did things get so off course?
This is not to deny the many wonderful innovations of the past 50-odd years, nor to undermine the vastness of our love for our kids. But there’s no denying that we might do some things differently if we had the chance for a do-over. And that awareness brings guilt.
In your journal, consider some questions like the following:
Friday – Pride
If we feel guilt, we also feel pride because nothing exists without its opposite.
Saturday – Flow
Time to take a break! Spend a while today doing whatever puts you in your ‘flow,’ that timeless state described so well by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. Then journal about it.
Describe the experience and then ask your Inner Coach a few questions:
Sunday – Humility
The more you dig into your deep insides, the more necessary to balance that by observing your real-world situation.
You’ve had both successes and failures, as noted in your journaling over the past few days. In the end, what have you learned?
Ask your journal: What does the world most need from me now?
Monday – Hope
You know your dreams, you know your disappointments. Now, what vision of the future can you create?
How can you begin to “give everything for what cannot be lost.”
Very simply, begin journal-thinking about what cannot be lost.
Tuesday - Promise
As boomers, our time has collapsed down to a few foreseeable years left. What’s the plan for those years? Journal the promise you want to make to the You who is dying sometime in the future.
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