Wednesday Journaling Writes: Relationship Blues

On Wednesdays, our focus is usually on work or projects, and the getting over the Hump is often about achieving goals. But sometimes, instead, it’s our relationships that are demanding attention in the middle of the week.

The way you get along with individuals at work has everything to do with your productivity and happiness on the job. Creating and implementing ideas and solutions just doesn’t happen in a vacuum. And all your wonderful work will come to nothing if your fellows aren’t cooperative.

And that’s just the power of your co-workers and bosses. What about the transcendent clout your family and/or life partner exerts over your every day? Have you ever tried to ignore the stress of a personal relationship while you get some work accomplished? Some can do it, but I know that my output is seriously compromised when I’m having issues with a loved one.

There’s no denying it: other people make our worlds go ‘round and the comfort of our relationships can easily influence all aspects of work and play.

Christ said not to let the sun go down on your wrath: i.e., kiss and make up before bedtime. We do well to observe this rule, but often we don’t. That means going in to work the next day with lingering animosity or pain.

Buddha said we are all One, but we regularly forget that and find ourselves in antagonistic relationships with co-workers. Resentment or anger towards someone who works under the same roof will corrupt every aspect of productivity.

What to do when you realize you’re obsessed by a relationship issue and the anxiety is hampering your forward movement? Whip out your journal, of course!

1. Write the name of the person involved, penning it over and over in various ways.
2. Write your own name multiple times, either on the same page or on a separate one. Consider similarities and contrasts between doing #1 and doing #2.
3. Make a vertical line down the center of a page. On the left, make a list of everything you dislike about the other person. On the right, make a list of everything you like. Dig deep and make the two columns of equal length.
4. Write out the issue you have with this person. Describe it in great detail.
5. Invite your inner coach for a chat. Ask: What can I do to ease the discord between me and this other person? Listen very carefully to the response.

Remember that your inner coach is not you, so you might hear some things you don’t like, or something that surprises you. No sense arguing; just take note.

Finally, look back over all these writings. Then take a deep breath and write a summary statement. Make it a simple, concise directive for getting right in your relationship (or at least taking the next step forward) and getting back to work.

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Image from: http://www.flickr.com/photos/desiitaly/1711563469/