It's hard to forget those turbulent times when we were painfully growing into and out of adolescence. But even though we may be able to relate to our teenaged children in some ways, we can't fully grasp being a teenager again. Sometimes you just have to let your teen be. In my experience, both when I was an angst-ridden teenager and with my own teens, journaling is an incredible way to document the rollercoaster of emotions inherent in the experience of tweens and teens. And through documentation comes a way to deal with these emotions in a healthy way. Of course, some teens take to journaling on their own, while for others, it's a medium waiting to be discovered. They just need someone to show them the way. Here are a few ideas for getting your teen started.
1. Buy your teen a stylish journal that matches his or her personality.
What first got me interested in starting a journal was when I found a beautiful diary in a second-hand store when I was maybe thirteen or fourteen. Although not written inside, it was maybe 60 or 70 years old, and it that wonderful old-book smell I associate now with my grandparents' ranch house. There was something about this diary that made me feel as though it were uniquely mine, and it inspired me to write. Take your teen out to various stores that sell journals and help them pick out one that draws them and inspires them. The medium, after all, is the message.
2. If your teen has trouble getting started, give her a few prompts.
Some people are just naturally drawn to writing. Others just need a bit of nudging. If your teen is having problems committing her thoughts and feelings to words, consider giving her some ideas. A few good starters that you can't go wrong with? "Your most embarrassing moment," "What you want to do with your future," "What virtues or personal qualities are most important to you," etc., etc. The more specific the prompt, the better. It's also important to give prompts that specifically require your child to describe her opinions and emotions.
3. Set aside time every day in which both of you write in your journals.
Even if your teen enjoys writing in her journal, it doesn't become an actual hobby or practice until it becomes a habit. Once it's a habit, journaling becomes a lifetime of enjoyment. My teens and I set aside thirty minutes to an hour every day after dinner. That you're journaling at the same time your teen is usually helps to provide extra motivation. It won't seem to your teen like a chore if you have to do it, too.
4. Share with each your journaling, but respect your teen's privacy also.
Of course, teens can sometimes be intensely private beings, and that's okay. However, sometimes the joy of journaling is doubled when it's a shared experience. Let your teen(s) know that they can share an entry whenever they feel comfortable. When they share something with you, do the same in return. However, never force a teen to share her feelings. When she's ready, she'll come to you. The sharing aspect of journaling has proved to be one of the greatest bonding experiences I've had with my children.
I've always been a big believer in the power of journaling to help with the regulation of emotion, with introspection, with improving the ability to look inside yourself and discover something surprising. For teens, all of these benefits of journaling are especially important as they begin to understand themselves as discrete individuals. Good luck!
This guest post is contributed Barbara Jolie, who enjoys writing about online college classes and other trends in the academic world. Even when she's not blogging, Barbara is always contemplating and considering issues concerning education and modern society. You can reach her at barbara.jolie876@gmail.com.
Need some journal prompts? Here are 160 and counting for you and your tweens and teens!
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