By Darlene Wierski-Devoe
Anxiety was no stranger in our house as the last 8 or so years have been shadowed by my daughters’ struggles with severe anxiety. We have implemented our share of strategies we’ve utilized countless goals and feeling charts, expressed anxious feelings through art and speech. In the end, unless you know how it feels – that moment when you are certain you are not going to make it another minute, it is terribly hard to explain to others; especially to other children.
Over the years I have heard other kids in the school yard give up on my daughter saying, “Don’t bother she’ll just say no” or “She’ll just cry don’t even ask her”. I’ve had children ask me what’s wrong with our daughter instead of them asking her. It became apparent that both for other children, parents and teachers there needed to be a way to bring awareness to what anxiety looks and feels like. Dealing with anxiety each and every day makes you feel sometimes like life is passing you by. I wanted for my life’s experiences to be a catalyst for change.
The manuscript for “Just Like You” came within an hour. It was a quick outpouring of my explanation to others of what an anxious child goes through each and every day. Does it mirror the childhood of my daughter? Absolutely. Does it mirror and mimic that of my childhood? More than you would ever know.
A few years ago I thought for sure that life as I knew it was over. I had experienced one of the worst panic attacks of my life; in fact I took myself to the hospital convinced I was about to see the white light. It turns out there was no white light in store for me, just a long road ahead of processing through years of trauma and grief. But in amidst the challenges that we faced, this beautiful book emerged.
“Just Like You” follows a young girl through her everyday life. The reader is able to see her in different settings and can begin to understand why she cries, why she is so upset and why she doesn’t speak. The young reader is also introduced to the “anxiety monster”. The reader is able to see that anxiety is not part of them but a “thing” that is pesky and annoying. There are definitely ways to tame that “anxiety monster” a child just needs a patient and supportive environment and they will soar.
This book is for everyone. For the anxious child it offers solace that the feelings they are having are not unusual and they are not alone. For the parent who has never experienced that kind of debilitating anxiety it is an opportunity to really see how hard every day can be for their child. For friends and peers of anxious children – it offers a sense of understanding. The girl/boy in my class isn’t talking because he’s being rude, she/he is terrified.
Working in tandem with the book “Just Like You”, is “Me”. It’s a toolbox journal that my son and I created. He is a fantastic artist and when asked if he’d like to be involved he jumped at the chance. What a wonderful experience. This journal gives children a sense of ownership and awareness of their own emotions. It allows them to have a secure place to let their feelings flow. At the bottom of each page is an affirmation. These are encouraging and inspiring phrases that children can say out loud. Each phrase is written to help foster a positive mindset and a sense of empowerment.
We have over the years been so lucky to have lots of people in our “village of support”. Each has lent a fresh idea or perspective and much needed support. The goal of this book is to teach others not to give up on these kids; to keep asking them to play, or to join in, or to be a friend.
About Darlene
Darlene Wierski-Devoe is a certified Life Coach, owner of Talk, Breathe, Live and the founder and publisher of the “Raising Socially Anxious Children” blog. She specializes in creating balance and wellness for parents and families who struggle with mood and anxiety disorders. As a result of her own experiences with anxiety – and those of her children – Darlene has created an ever-evolving community where parents and caregivers can find support, resources and inspiration.
To order your copy of “Just Like You” or “Me” please go to www.talkbreathelive.com/bookstore