Either way, you are in prison of your circumstances or just your thought pattern. If you are just waiting for things to change, or a miracle to happen, you are going to be waiting a long time.
Maybe you blame the world. If the market wasn’t so bad, you would have a job. If people hadn’t betrayed your trust, you wouldn’t be so cynical. If other people kept their promises, you would have an open heart.
It is no use blaming the world for your troubles. Since it’s of no use, why spend your energy doing it?
Instead, take charge. Get the reigns, make decisions and start moving. You can’t be stuck unless you allow yourself to be stuck.
Some of you might be getting angry right about now, and thinking things like:
It wasn’t in my control that I got laid-off, or it wasn’t in my control that my husband left me for a twenty-five year old.
No, maybe not. But it is in your control how you deal with those things.
DISCLAIMER: This is not going to be easy. It’s also not a miracle solution that is going to fix everything for you. But, it will help you if you are willing to be honest with yourself, and help yourself.
Identify your problems
What is stopping you? What makes you feel stuck? Are you in a rut? Are you stuck in a relationship or a job you don’t want? Be honest. List all your problems
Divide Your List
In your journal, draw two columns on a page.
Column 1 – list problems that are in your control
Column 2 – list problems that are not in your control
Justify Your Reasons
Justify why you think they are in your control, or they aren’t. It’s not going to be easy, and you probably don’t want to do it. But this is a must. Take this step. Confront your emotions, and force logic on your reasons. You may surprise yourself.
For example:
You were laid off from my job, and can’t find a new job. You blame it on your previous company, and it was not in your control.
Let’s look at it logically. Your job is gone, so there is no use crying over it now. But you are now in a situation where you decide what happens. You decide if you go out of your way to find a new job, or you sit at home, applying for a few things, and blaming profit-stealing corporations.
If you do the later, the profit-sucking corporation doesn’t care, but you spend every day being angry over something that is now in the past, and not moving forward.
If you however choose the former option, you accept that you are in control. So you spruce up your resume, register with agencies, call up your old boss for reference, apply for a certain number of jobs every day diligently, learn about interview skills and the market, get advice on how to get a better job, and continue to brush up your knowledge.
Do you see the difference in the two outcomes? Which of these two choices do you think is going to lead to a new job?
Take Control
Ignore the column of problems that you have no control over. Focus instead on things that you can influence. Take a look at all the problems you have that you have now justified, you can do something about.
Start doing it. I know it’s easier said than done, but you have to take that first step. Pick a problem. Pick something that’s easy and relatively quick fix. Implement your solutions. Change your situation, and cross that problem off the list.
Let that be a visible reminder that you took control. Now you can move onto the next thing, and then the next. Every time you get bogged down or even come close to getting stuck, do these steps. Keep adding to your list, and keep crossing things off. Be aware of how much control you have, and learn to use it, and you will not be daunted by any demons.
ACTIONS YOU CAN TAKE TODAY:
Make a list of your problems in two columns. Get your journal, and do it now. Make a start.
If you need a dose of positive inspiration, you can download a FREE PDF guide, 17 Questions to Find Your Positivity, by entering your email address here.
About the Author
Dolly Garland is a writer and founder of Kaizen Journaling, where she helps a community of Kaizen Warriors create their personalised arsenal for success. Find her on Facebook