Facing Your Fears With Journaling

Guest Post By Jen Nicomedes

I enjoy taking calculated risks. After all, isn’t life all about the experiences we live to tell and grow from? I thrived whenever I have the chance to step outside of the box. I suppose it keeps things fresh and interesting and it makes me feel more alive.

But having stability is also comforting. It’s generally more accepted. We seek the standard, stable accomplishments – the next promotion, the next project, the next paycheck. There have been moments in my life when I appreciated the Ferris wheel ride, round and round I go, always in that predictable and comfortable motion.

Until recently…

I decided to walk away from a steady, six-figure corporate gig to pursue a life of passion. After spending years of being at the mercy of someone else’s hands, I wanted to make a life of my own, in my own terms. I was thrilled…and scared, at the same time.

The idea of having to start over in unchartered waters was something not many would ever dare attempt. What if you quit your job to do something you loved instead? Something that maybe wasn’t as predictable in terms of monetary stability? It’s nerve-wrecking.

“Fear is just a feeling, not a fact.” I’ve heard that a lot. And I’ve certainly felt it. But I rarely let myself get unhinged when it comes to confessing my own fears. Not out loud, anyway.

Over the last month of transition, I have sporadically shared a small dose of what is really lurking deep inside me to a handful of close friends. I kept a lot of it to myself partly for fear of being judged, but mostly embarrassed of having to admit I was scared. But there is one place I can always go to offer all of my thoughts. The only place that ever received the full, uncensored version of me: my journal.

My journal is always a place I found comfort in. It is safe. It is the one place where I let myself truly feel the “bad” or whatever else I found difficulty sharing with another. It is a place where I can simply just be. No shame. No regrets. No judgment. It was raw and absolutely freeing!

Flipping through the pages, I noticed my scribbled penmanship where I scratched furiously, sensing angst and pain. Other times, it looked neat when I was clearly being reflective and my heart was at ease. Some pages have tear stains or smiley faces. Some pages were wrinkled or smooth. These pages seem to have a life of their own.

These pages have a story to tell. And every story has a lesson to be learned.

Today, I am able to see my documentary with a different set of eyes and a mind with more clarity and direction – as if I was someone else completely. I saw the anxiety, fear, and vulnerability of someone with a passionate vision. I witnessed how the inner strength built up over time. I recognized a woman who still needed her mother’s blessing.

I realized despite how much fear I may have admitted in my journal, I saw the bubbles of excitement behind each handwritten word; conviction despite the snippets of doubts and self-judgment. My commitment to the new path was unshakable.

The power of writing down your thoughts facilitates an understanding of self – a mirror to your own evolvement – every joy, every thought, even every fear, are safely logged. I refer back to these pages and leverage the courageous words I have written for myself.

Our minds can easily replay conversations and certain events, but never with the same clarity as writing down your own thoughts openly from your heart, as they happen. My documentary of this particular story was not more than a span of four weeks, yet I observed the evolution of a woman with a big dream. It was inspiring. I was my own inspiration. This is me -- in my own words, in my own making.

As I step into my new life, my journal will be along for the ride. I’m sure I will face new sets of fears and other emotions as I navigate in this new path. But I am absolutely certain that my journal, just like a faithful companion, will always be a tool to help me be honest with myself and I can face my inner darkness and fears with kindness and privacy.

About the Author

Jen Nicomedes is a regular contributing writer for MindBodyGreen, an online wellness site based in New York City. She is a real estate entrepreneur, yogi, and motivational writer. She is currently studying for her Feng Shui practitioner’s license with Terah Kathryn Collins at the Western School of Feng Shui in Encinitas, CA in the hopes of integrating the philosophy of Feng Shui with her real estate business and everyday life.

Twitter: @Jen_Nicomedes
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