We’ve talked a lot about fear in this blog. How you can use journal writing to gain control over it. At the request of a reader and fellow journal writer, today I’m approaching a cousin of fear: insecurity.
When you’re afraid, there’s a perceived threat, whether real or imagined. You are afraid of something in the present, or something you expect to happen.
When you’re insecure, though, it’s not so much that you perceive a threat from outside. Insecurity is more about a sense of inner dread. Insecurity is a feeling, rather than a perception. It’s a vague impression of personal inadequacy, as if you just can’t measure up.
It’s a rare type of person that doesn’t feel insecure about something. We’re apprehensive about a million things in the endless effort to be loved and successful.
I’m insecure about my appeal to the opposite sex, while you’re insecure about your golf game, Susie’s insecure about the new job she’s starting, and Tom feels insecure about his commitment to dieting. At any given time, each of us can identify at least one or two current insecurities – our obsessions “du jour!”
There’s a certain amount of benefit in feeling insecure. The doubt that squeezes our attention triggers a low-level fight-or-flight reaction. If you run at such times, so be it. But if you stay and fight, the outcome is a stronger, more confident, and much more skilled You.
Sometimes insecurities can stifle, keeping us from a full and healthy life. If you notice that sort of trend in your days, whip out the old journal and set things write!
Insecurity can happen when your mind is on what others think instead of paying attention to what you think. Explore this in your journal.
Write your insecurity at the top of a page. Draw a vertical line down the middle under the title. On one side, list what you think others think about it; and on the other side, list your opinion of it. Like this:
Title - I’m insecure about my ability to attract someone to love.
Other people think:
- She’s old, not pretty
- She’s strong-willed and opinionated
- She’s set in her ways.
I think:
- I’m not as pretty as I once was, and I’m sad about that
- I’d much rather express than repress my thoughts and opinions
- I’m proud of creating, at last, a lifestyle that suits me well
And insecurities can happen when we let paranoid thinking take over. For instance, maybe you’re feeling insecure about your ability to make money.
Again, make a page with a title, and a vertical line dividing the space below. On one side write the existing conditions that seem to keep you from making money. On the other side, write a list of existing opportunities that enable you to make money.
What keeps me from making $$:
- High unemployment
- Mounting bills
- Not enough hours in the day
Opportunities:
- Self-employment
- Downsizing
- Partnership
Whether related to social interactions or success in life, insecurities can be destructive. Keep them in check with journaling!
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Sometimes another person can provide the perspective you need to get a grip on insecurities. I will help you develop your own journaling practice based on proven methods for using journaling as a tool for transforming your life. More info here!
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