by April M. Lee
“The impulse to write things down is a peculiarly compulsive one, inexplicable to those who do not share it . . . keepers of private notebooks are a different breed altogether.” (Joan Didion)
Where would I be without my journal? Who would I be without my journal?
My journal is my lifeline, my savior, my confidante, my forever friend.
The act of writing allows my world to come alive before my eyes. It invites me to seize and freeze images as a photographer might with a camera. Events haven’t really happened for me until they’ve been safely and carefully recorded by my hand. The written words reveal the potential of the moments, the potential of my life.
As far back as I can remember, people have questioned my incessant need to write:
“What are you writing now?”
“You’re missing it all! Put the pen down and look!”
“Why do you have to write that down?”
“How can you write so much?”
Wait a minute. How can I write so much? How can I NOT?
Journaling has gifted me with insightful tools: introspection and reflection, remembrance and awareness, recognition and appreciation. I see who I am with astonishing clarity.
Where would I be without my journal? Who would I be without my journal?
I began to know and to trust myself through my journal writing. My words have connected me through the years with who I am, who I have been, and who I will become.
Sometimes tears hit the paper, smearing my words. At other times the page is filled with angry exclamation points and capital letters. Sometimes the mood is light - smiley faces are interjected between sentences.
My journal proudly displays my personality, succinctly captures my essence, neatly sums up my existence. Grief, joy, wonder, rage, disappointment, peacefulness. All have been documented and preserved.
When I am doubting myself, when I am questioning my intentions, when I am feeling emotionally bereft . . . I simply open one of my journals and start reading. I dig in and begin to lose myself in the rhythmic cadence of my own words, recalling how I felt at that exact minute. And I marvel wryly at how situations have resolved, pain has dissipated, excitement has waned since the words were first written.
A lifetime echoed through the diaries of my past . . . morning pages dutifully filled with sometimes coherent/sometimes rambling thoughts and feelings . . . spiral notebooks overflowing with my expressions and impressions.
Where would I be without my journal? Who would I be without my journal?
My journal has always been my best friend, but somewhere along the way I’ve come to understand its real significance. My journal illustrates my unique and integrated life because the words are mine and only mine. My journal is unconditionally, startlingly April.
And now I fully embrace the truth. I have become my own best friend.
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April M. Lee is a Certified Wellness Coach with a Masters degree in Mental Health Counseling. As an eating disorders aftercare coach, she mentors women who have recovered physically from anorexia and bulimia and are seeking a bold free new life without their illness. She has a background in cognitive-behavioral counseling, and has worked with adolescent and adult women with a variety of emotional eating issues for over 20 years. April is also a seasoned homeschooling parent with a nomadic lifestyle.
To learn more about April and her unique coaching services, visit her global studio: www.essence7wellness.com and stop by her Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/essence7wellness.
Do you find yourself dwelling on missed opportunities? Or perhaps you're having trouble making sense of it all? Please download our free ebook, CreateWriteNow's Expert Guide to Therapeutic Journaling, shows you journaling can provide the tools you need to achieve the happiness we all deserve.
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