It’s 5:00 am. Do you know where your journal is? From my teens to now I have struggled with a sleep disorder, and as a result my journals have been filled with the meanderings of a sleepy 5:00 am mind. However, since I work for myself I am blessed with being able to set my own schedule, which can be enjoying the quiet of the midnight hours. During those hours I find both solace and the muse, and I write in my journal as a reflection of my day and as a clearing for my mind. To me journal writing is not journal typing. I always have to have a journal and a purple pen to write near at hand.
As a result of going to sleep at midnight or 1:00, lying awake at 5:00 am often feels like the middle of the night. Sometimes middle of the night ravings have been known to instigate golden threads of true inspiration. More often they contain illusions – believing my tired mind is a shooting star passing the moon or the opposite pendulum that I might as well be whale shit, my writing, and life are worthless. Neither extreme is helpful in the long run. As an immediate solace, my journals are always priceless. I often ask myself how do I sort out the golden threads from the illusions?
Although in the moment I can be mesmerized by the luna-cisms that come to me in the middle of the night, often they sound outright crazy in the clear light of day. Sometimes, even while I am writing these luna-cisms I know they don’t make sense, still I have to honor the process of writing from the inside out.
Acceptance is a key to the hunting and gathering of journal writing. Hunting because I am examining the underlying reason why I am awake. And gathering for me is wrapping up all the disparate threads of thought into a wheat sheave of pen on paper. I simply write what is on my mind, allowing myself the freedom to explore and feel the response to what I explore in the process. For me, writing a journal has no specified outcome or goal; it is simply the process. When I am truly writing from a place of acceptance, the golden threads gleam on the pages and in my mind. I can clearly see the difference between the inspiration and the dross.
Practice is another key to sorting out the golden threads of inspiration. After years and years of journal writing I know what the thrill of true inspiration feels like in my body. There is magic in me and around me; unlimited possibility for true creativity emerges easily. The rush I feel hangs out in my solar plexus and then spreads to my limbs. The memories of these moments are captured in both the product – poems, articles or blogs - and the process of writing.
Perhaps going back to my intention for writing is the most important factor. Am I allowing the hunting and gathering to naturally occur and reveal the magic in me? Or am I trying too hard for answers, stressing myself to be perfect, or focusing on a result? Instead of hunting for those golden threads, maybe the best thing we can do is just “write-on.” Simply putting our pens to paper to see what evolves may be the key to healthier journaling. If we build the field, the inspiration will come.
About the Author - Mari S. Selby
In addition to “Lightning Strikes Twice”, Mari S. Selby is currently working on an anthology; “Awaking the Hero Within: Stories from the Cancer Tribe”. Over decades Mari has published her poetry in anthologies, almanacs, magazines and newsletters. Mari is a lifelong compulsive journal writer, she has also taught and led writing groups and workshops. Today, Mari is a contributing writer for the “San Francisco Book Review” column, “After the Manuscript”.
For over three decades Mari has comforted and assisted hundreds of people as a family therapist, healer, and spiritualadvisor. For the past 15 years Mari has been the director of Selby Ink, a publicity and marketing firm.www.selbyink.com Selby ink promotes authors who make a difference, and helps those authors to develop name recognition through traditional publicity efforts as well as social media. Selby ink specializes in the following genres: body-mind-spirit, relationships, environmental issues, and social justice. You can also find Mari S. Selby on Facebook, or Twitter @selbyink.
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