By Tanya Levy
Most days focusing on our today self or the present moment is easily accessible. We focus on our routine, take a deep breath when we get overwhelmed and everything flows. Other days problems or issues can be like an unwanted houseguest that won’t take the hint to leave. We can even experience unexpected or all too familiar conflict with family members, partners or friends leaving us anxious, unfocused, angry or sad. So, how do we stay balanced and focused on each activity before us when our mind and heart are caught up in frustration? Here are five suggestions to help you.
1. Take a Sacred 10 Break Each Morning
Figure out what makes your heart sing. Whether you take ten minutes to do your Morning Pages, meditate or brew a cup of green tea and reflect; allow this time to refresh you for your day.
2. Be Clear About What You Can Control
If a problem is bothering you, take a piece of paper and put a line down the page. On the left column write, “what I can do” and on the right “what I cannot do”. Once you are clear about what you can and cannot do, try and let go of what you cannot control.
3. Ask for Support
Tough days are always easier with help. What do you need to feel okay today? How can you support yourself to do that? Who can help you get back on track?
4. Build in Breathing Room
We all need space to breathe. Just like you wouldn’t use your calendar from 2012 to keep track of things you need to do, adding too many tasks to your day makes it difficult to do anything well. Allow time for breaks and to breathe. Even five minutes to take a quick walk, take a deep breath or grab a glass of water can enrich your day.
5. Celebrate Each Success
When we pay attention to what we do well we affirm our strengths and our life purpose. Focus on what you do well. Keep track of your accomplishments. Celebrate what you do well.
Some Further Thoughts
Mishaps, mistakes and miracles can happen on your way to focusing on today. I coined the term “today self” to support students who have a trauma history. Often they experience challenges and struggles focusing on each day because of their painful history. I ask them, “what would your today self do?” when they are struggling or “how can you get back on track with your today self?”
The journey to focusing on your today self also benefits from grace. Grace is when unexpected things happen to help us. A kind stranger forgives us when we cut them off in traffic, someone holds the door open for us when our arms or full or a colleague buys us coffee. When I am having a particularly bad day, I focus on the affirmation, "I allow grace." This helps me focus away from what I cannot fix and focus more on the ebb and flow of life around me. I wish you well on your journey to connecting with your today self. Peace be with you.
Tanya Levy is a Counsellor in a Community College in Cape Breton, Nova Scotia. She provides personal and academic counselling on a variety of topics including: personal wellness, relationship and parenting issues, focusing and learning challenges, mental health concerns and financial management. She is known for her optimism, wisdom and sense of humour. She has worked in the social work field for over twenty years. She has spoken to teachers, counsellors, colleagues and students about: embracing wellness in the classroom, study skills, time management, stress management, self-care and avoiding burnout, creativity and focusing strategies. She was a single parent for eight years and learned many strategies to save time and money. She is the parent of an active teenager. Her hobbies include: writing, Tai Chi, spending time in nature and creating dream boxes. She is a regular contributor to www.parentingcents.com. You can reach her at caperpoet@gmail.com.
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