In recent years, men have been both struggling with their personal identities and making great strides in family equality. By that I mean they have taken more responsibility for their relationships and domestic chores while rethinking what it means to be a man in modern society.
Yes, women continue to bear the brunt of child-rearing and household tasks, but moms are respected everywhere and given credit for the astonishing multi-tasking many of them do. Dads, on the other hand, have often been portrayed in popular media as the bumbling, well-intentioned doofus who can’t seem to get anything right.
That’s now changing. More employers are granting paternity leave and more men are demanding greater flexibility at work in order to shoulder more of the child-rearing chores such as taking the kids to doctor’s appointments, meeting with teachers, and attending games and recitals. A significant and growing number are even becoming stay-at-home dads – a choice that is becoming increasingly acceptable and admired.
Still, men face issues that need to be addressed. Balancing work and personal life is an ongoing struggle for many as some employers push back against flexibility and time-off requests and the need for two incomes remains an ever-present concern. Men face many of the same work-life balance issues as women who try to "have it all." It can feel like a disadvantage not to spend those crazy late hours at the office, while colleagues without children have no problem working longer hours. Promotions and raises, after all, go to individuals who work hard and accomplish a lot.
It starts by making a commitment to yourself that you will build into your day time for you. Much of our daily lives is controlled by outside factors. It’s important to be self-aware about all of the factors – internal and external -- you have in your life, many of which you can control.
Establish what you don’t want to do -- and that you have control over – and take them off the table. Make a commitment to yourself to keep you as the center of your focus. You are in charge and you have the power and strength to make your life better.
Remember that you always have a choice. What you do can have a positive or negative impact, but you decide what you do. Don’t like your job? Quit, if it’s ruining your life. Of course, have a plan if you decide to bail, but life’s too short to stick something out if it’s negatively affecting you and your loved ones. Choose not to have negative experiences, whenever possible.
Commit to who you are. Self-examination can reveal some surprises about what’s really important to you and what defines you. Are you a dad? Be proud of it. If being a better father means not crushing that next work project, then so be it. Your children only grow up once and it happens fast. You’ll never remember that next meeting, but you’ll always remember your son’s or daughter’s home run.
There are steps you can take to change what isn’t working and get back some control and balance in your life. And once you start seeing results you’ll be better equipped to maintain that new-found equilibrium. The key is not to try to change everything at once, but to make small adjustments over time to determine what works for you.
Go analog Set aside some time in the evening and/or on weekends to turn off all those digital devices such as smartphones, tablets, laptops and other electronic distractions and focus on your inner self – what’s happening to you now and where you’d like to be with your life. Use journaling to record your insights and goals. Give your brain a rest from all the outside stuff.
Get rid of baggage Chances are, your life is overflowing with a lot of extra “things” that just cause personal clutter and distraction. Unnecessary meetings and errands, activities you’re no longer really interested in, tasks or projects you reluctantly accept because you have trouble saying “no.” Get rid of ‘em all.
Minimize toxins Reduce the negative influences around you. Avoid toxic people: complainers, whiners, and nay-sayers. If you can’t completely avoid them, at least minimize contact and tune them out as much as possible. Surround yourself with positive, supportive, can-do people whenever possible.
Build better relationships Set aside quality time with your family and friends. Don’t just sit in front of the television -- really connect and pay attention to those you care about. Make a date with your significant other, have coffee with a friend, play a game with a child. Really get to know the people around you.
Life is all about enjoyment. There is no reason to be unhappy. Many men are analytical -- if that’s you, think about creating an enjoyment quotient. Take time to journal and create lists of people, places, and work-related activities and give them each a positive or negative number. Add up the last few days and see what your enjoyment quotient is.
If the number is negative, meaning you spend more of your day doing things you don’t like with people you don’t like in places you don’t like, then you have a negative quotient. If you spend the majority of your day enjoying and finding satisfaction in your work, social events, and being with people you like and love you’ll have a positive quotient. Look for ways to remove or minimize the negative numbers.
Understanding and embracing your personal identity, planning a way to build upon it, and ensuring you are focused on enjoyment and being the person you really want to be is empowering for a man – and a woman, too. It’s the pathway to establishing a symmetrical work-life balance.
Are you struggling with establishing balance in life? Learn how to get in touch with priorities and make the right choices for a more productive life by downloading the eBook titled "The Secrets to Finding the Internal Compass to Power through Life's Events."