The Mastery of Love is one of the greatest stories ever told about the art of relationship. More specifically, the potential each of us has regarding the relationship with the self. Arguably the most well-known Toltec spiritual teacher, Don Miguel Ruiz is a Mexican author who provided the world this self-love story. Selling over 16 million copies since its 1997 birth, The Mastery of Love has been translated into an astounding 46 languages. It even had its feet firmly planted in the New York Times Best Seller list for what was almost an entire decade.
These accomplishments make anyone's eyebrows and curiosity raise. What profound wisdom could The Mastery of Love’s pages possibly contain? What is there to learn from the Toltecs that's so potent, people willingly flock to its teachings with such delight? Why would Don Miguel Ruiz leave his accomplished surgeon occupation to instead share his sacred message with the world?
Ruiz, like all Toltecs, believe that every human being can transmute their automatic emotional responses. It is their sacred mission, their reason for being, to teach us how. With practice and time, this lesson and the skills acquired open the gates to our greatest potential. We can train the mind so we are able to live our lives from a place of unconditional love, truth and forgiveness. But how?
An Introduction to the Toltecs and Don Miguel Ruiz
To better understand the lessons The Mastery of Love espouses, returning to its roots will prove useful. The Toltecs and their spiritual teachings have drawn breath for thousands of years. Originating in the Mesoamerican region and gathering at the sacred Teotihuacan site, Toltecs are “men and women of knowledge.” Teotihuacan, where “Man Becomes God,” was the sacred place where early Toltec artists and scientists would meet. Here, they would create the framework of their teachings, unearth conscious ways of living, and teach those who were eager to learn their ways.
Raised by a shaman grandfather and curandera (healer) mother, Don Miguel Ruiz, was born to be a spiritual leader. Although he was a practicing surgeon before becoming a Toltec teacher, a near death experience led him back to his life’s work. Once accepting his sacred path and becoming a devoted Toltec, Ruiz pointed his efforts towards writing books. His second book, a potent masterpiece, is The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship.
The Three Greats; Love, Forgiveness, and Truth
In his book, Ruiz, being such a natural storyteller, is poetic yet incredibly direct. It is easy for the reader to decipher his message. Essentially, his lessons and the Toltec philosophy focus on three great principles; love, forgiveness, and truth. When these three principles are well-crafted and in harmony, Toltecs believe a human is capable of transmuting every emotional response.
In order to do this, Ruiz asks us to recognize the two “masters” that reside within us all. Master number one is a being of love, kindness, understanding, and unwavering compassion. Master number two is the opposite; fearful, hateful, mean-spirited, and deeply ingrained in pain. The Toltecs say that with every decision we make in life, we are operating with one of the two masters at the helm.
Thus, the master that we call upon the most has the most say in our lives. So, if an individual is constantly selecting master number two (hatred, pain, anger etc.,) then that master is the interpreter of our reality. Conversely, if we give our seat of authority to master number one (love, compassion, and understanding) then that master reigns. It’s obvious which master each of us would prefer. The Toltecs believe everyone can make way for their desired master. To do this, one must exercise the three great principles. Unconditional love, truth, and forgiveness.
The Emergence of Who You Truly Are
Easier said than done, right? Ruiz doesn’t deny that. In fact, he said it is every human’s life's work to reach a state of unconditional love, truth, and forgiveness. That being said, it’s the sacred path to the truest version of yourself, who you are destined to be. But why is this true self so difficult to be?
The way Ruiz puts it, our truest self is dimmed and shackled through every act of “injustice” we experience. An injustice is an action or interaction where we were punished and didn’t feel safe to be who we truly are. Injustices are a part of our living experience and occur from the day we are born until the day we die. They come from family (our parents most often), from our friends, from figures of authority, and from society. These injustices, or punishments, create unhealthy weeds in the mind that we are programmed to water in order to be accepted.
However, Toltecs say there is a way to remove these weeds for good. There is a way to unshackle who we truly are and live from the seat of the master that simply loves. To do this, we must first learn to forgive. Forgiveness for injustices we’ve endured, no matter who they came from, or how severe. This is no easy feat, but without forgiveness, the weeds will remain. One will remain judgmental, unable to accept themselves and others. Thus, love and acceptance cannot grow where the inability to forgive continues to flourish.
Additionally, the injustices we’ve experienced program us to believe that we are not good enough. That it is not safe to be who we truly are. So we seek love, validation, and acceptance from others, outside of ourselves. In order to reverse this trend and programming, we must fully understand that true love can only come from within. Ruiz puts it so simply yet profoundly; “Love creates the master.” When we forgive and harness unconditional love for ourselves and every living being, we clasp hands with our truth. With truth comes awareness.
Truth and Awareness Transmute Our Emotional Responses
In order to discover the truth of reality and who we are, the Toltecs instruct us to clean our emotional wounds. Using truth as a scalpel, we open our emotional wounds through the act of forgiveness. When these emotional wounds become clear, we accelerate their healing through cultivated awareness. This awareness is involved in every choice we make. If someone deeply hurts us, it is at that moment that we must decide how best to respond. Do we send pain back in their direction and inflict an injustice? Or do we consciously choose to let our loving master respond?
Toltecs are adamant in their belief that every human is the creator of their lives. In fact, allowing the loving master that lives within us to thrive, they say, is completely up to us. The more honestly we live our lives, the more capable we are of bringing that master to the surface. With honesty, we can admit when we acted out of fear, pain, and anger. Conversely, honesty also works in the other way, where we recognize in what ways we were operating with love and forgiveness in our hearts.
In practicing these three qualities (love, truth, and forgiveness) patterns come forth. We see our tendencies, our go-to emotional reactions, and our reminded of the ability to make a better choice next time. Practice makes our conscious choices easier. “You don't need to justify your love, you don't need to explain your love, you just need to practice your love. Practice creates the master.” ― Don Miguel Ruiz, The Mastery of Love
Live From the Seat of Your Awareness
Remember, the Toltecs do not claim that this is simple work. In fact, they are most aware of the human experience and are not foolish in believing that perfection is so easily attainable. However, they are devoted believers that we are the creators of our reality and that we always have the option to live from the seat of our awareness. When we forgive and love unconditionally, we are living our truest self. This living truth gives those around us permission to do the same. Toltecs say truth, love, and forgiveness can change the world. This change starts with one person, living from the seat of their awareness.
“Finally, if you are aware that no one else can make you happy, and that happiness is the result of love coming out of you, this becomes the greatest mastery of the Toltecs, the Mastery of
Love.”-- Don Miguel Ruiz
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