October 9
My reason for choosing this workbook as my prize from a WOW! writing contest was not to establish a morning pages practice but to help me reestablish a stalled one. I have written morning pages regularly (more or less) and according to Julia Cameron’s rules (sort of) since before the turn of the century. I tell myself my ways are not wrong if they work for me.
The Covid-19 quarantine keeps Ron and me close to home most days, so I should be able to maintain this CreateWriteNow program as directed for 12 straight days.
My eyes wander out the sunroom window to the oak and maple leaves sparkling scarlet, orange, and gold against a cloudless sky.
“Get back on the page!” I admonish myself. “You have two more to write.”
October 10
Fear that what I make will not be “right” or “good enough” blocks my creativity. All these decades since tenth grade English class, I can still picture Miss Hetherington’s red pencil corrections obliterating the blue ink of my weekly essay assignments.
I need to let that go, already!
October 11
The Inner Critic edits my sentences before they even make it to the page.
October 15
I missed the past three days for a good reason: I’ve been revising an essay for a writing contest. The deadline motivates me to create something besides these morning scribbles.
October 17
Saturday, 1 pm
Here I am doing Day 5 morning pages in the afternoon on the eighth day since I began the program. I always say it’s better to do pages my own way than not to do them at all. And they are working. Yesterday I wrote a job description for my Inner Artist that includes:
Writing is rewriting. Allow yourself to compose sloppy first drafts.
I rewrote an old short story to take to my critique group. The members’ feedback will help me to revise it for another contest.
October 20
If I’d kept my first day vow to do the CreateWriteNow workbook according to the directions, I would be writing Day 12 at the top of today’s page. But Ron tore his right Achilles tendon, and mine have become the legs of the house. Right now I’m in the hospital waiting room while he gets a diagnostic MRI.
October 21
The surgeon told Ron his tendon is shredded, like pulled pork. To prevent further injury, he’s in a boot till it’s repaired on the 27th.
Dentist appointment this afternoon. Have to get in the shower.
October 24
The scarlet has faded to burgundy, the orange to rust, and the leaf carpet in the yard grows plusher every day.
I have not worked the CWN program on consecutive days as directed, but except for yesterday I have written something every day, even if only an entry in the One Line a Day journal Anna bought me for Mother’s Day.
October 25
We are quarantined until Ron’s surgery on Tuesday, so he’s watching mass live-streamed from St. James on Facebook.
I still need to do the writing exercises for days 10, 11, and 12 that should have been finished five days ago.
October 28
Ron’s surgery went well. He’s in a wheelchair and is not to put any weight on his leg at least until his post-op appointment in four weeks.
October 30
Face masks make me feel like I’m living in a sci-fi movie. Will stadiums, arenas, and theaters ever again host capacity crowds? When will it be safe to eat in a restaurant and shop at Walmart let alone fly in an airplane?
November 1
Because of Ron’s injury, the morning pages challenge that I was supposed to finish in twelve days has taken twice as long. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t benefited by the exercise. The practice motivated me to:
- revise an essay and enter it in a writing contest
- create our Christmas card
- rewrite a short story to take to my critique group
The next thing?
I hesitate. Life has a history of changing my plans. Just look at this past month! Also, as a retiree I have the liberty to live day to day, planning at most thirty days ahead.
So, I’ve made one decision—to participate in the Writers’ Digest Poem-a-Day challenge. At the end of this month, rather than a list of goals I set and failed to meet, I’ll have an accomplishment to celebrate.
Author bio: Kay Butzin participated in her first CreateWriteNow journaling challenge in February 2012 and has completed at least ten others since. Last fall she won an Honorable Mention in a WomenOnWriting contest for I Quit, an essay composed from morning “scribbles” about giving up cigarettes.
Kay and her partner Ron live in beautiful Up North Michigan, where she is a
member of the Mid Michigan Writers group.
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